Gm           F             Eb      D 
Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction 
            Gm                        Eb                    D 
Forgive our sins forged at the pulpit with forked-tongue-selling faux sermons 
       Gm     F                  Eb               D 
'Cause I am a new wave of gospel sharp and you'll be thy witness 
            Gm                                                     Gm F 
A gentlemen if you're gonna preach. For God's sake, preach with conviction

               Gm 
Strike out the band! Whoa, the conductor is beckoning 
F 
Come, congregation, let's sing it like you mean it. 
Eb 
No. Don't you get it? Don't you get it? 
              D 
Now don't you move.  
               Gm 
Strike out the band! Whoa, the conductor is beckoning 
F 
Come, congregation, let's sing it like you mean it. 
Eb 
No. Don't you get it? Don't you get it? 
              D 
Now don't you move.

                              Gm              F 
Just stay where I can see you douse the light! 
D                            Gm    Gm F Gm F Eb D 
We sure are in for a show tonight.

   Gm                        F                Eb             D 
In this little number, we're graced by two displays of character 
               Gm              F            Eb            D 
We've got: the gunslinger extraordinaire v. walking contradictions 
    Gm            F                     Eb                            D 
And I for one can see no blood from the hearts and the wrists you'd allegedly slit 
    Gm              F                       Gm                   Gm          Eb 
And I for one won't stand for this. If this scene were a parish, y'all be condemned.

               Gm 
Strike out the band! Whoa, the conductor is beckoning 
F 
Come, congregation, let's sing it like you mean it. 
Eb 
No. Don't you get it? Don't you get it? 
              D 
Now don't you move.  
               Gm 
Strike out the band! Whoa, the conductor is beckoning 
F 
Come, congregation, let's sing it like you mean it. 
Eb 
No. Don't you get it? Don't you get it? 
               D 
Now don't you, don't you move.

Eb                                 Gm     F 
Stay where I can see you douse the lights. 
D 
We sure are in for a show tonight! 
Eb                                 Gm     F 
Stay where I can see you douse the lights. 
D                                                  F 
We sure are in - Stay where I can see you douse the lights. 
Gm F Eb D 
La la da da la la da . . .