[Strophe]
G                         C            G 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long 
   G                           D 
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong 
    G                                   C            G 
My friends they all tell me, that i've no friends at all 
 G                                     D          G 
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call 
 C    D      G 
SiIIIgned Bewildered
[Refrain]
G                          C            G 
Bewildered, Bewildered you have no complaint 
 G                            D 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
 G                   C         G 
So listen up buster listen up good 
 G                             D          G 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 C   D         G 
siiiiigned Dear Abby
[Strophe]
 G                        C            G 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks 
  G                          D 
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks 
 G                             C            G 
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed 
 G                             D           G 
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead 
 C    D    G 
SiiiiIgned Unhappy
[Refrain]
G                    C            G 
Unhappy Unhappy you have no complaint 
 G                            D 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
 G                   C         G 
So listen up buster listen up good 
 G                             D          G 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 C   D         G 
siiiiigned Dear Abby
[Strophe]
 G                        C              G 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this 
  G                           D 
But my stomache makes noises whenever I kiss 
 G                          C         G 
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head 
  G                          D         G 
But my stomache tells me to write you instead 
 C    D    G 
SiIIIgned Noisemaker.
[Refrain]
G                          C            G 
Noisemaker Noisemaker you have no complaint 
 G                            D 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
 G                   C         G 
So listen up buster listen up good 
 G                             D          G 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 C   D         G 
siiiiigned Dear Abby
[Strophe]
 G                         C      G 
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought 
 G                               D 
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught 
  G                                    C            G 
We were sittin' in the back seat just shootin' the breeze 
    G                                D            G 
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees 
 C     D      G 
SiIIIIgned Just Married
[Refrain]
G                             C            G 
Just Married Just Married you have no complaint 
 G                            D 
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't 
 G                   C         G 
So listen up buster listen up good 
 G                             D          G 
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood 
 C   D         G 
siiiiigned Dear Abby