[Strophe]
E 
You want a guy that's sweet 
               C#m 
A guy that's tough 
C#m                              A 
A feminist who likes to pay for stuff 
  
The kinda guy that gets along with your friends 
          B 
Without being attracted to any of them 
E                                C#m 
A good boy, a bad boy, a good bad boy 
  
A half good half bad half boy 
A 
Loves your brother sensitive but not weak and 
B 
Is a great lover calls your mother on the weekend 
E                 A                 B        C#m    A 
Then you might think that this guy only exists in your mind 
            E 
Well guess what 
B 
You're right
[Refrain]
E              C#m   A 
If you want love 
B                    E        C#m 
Lower your expectations a few 
              A                    B 
Cause Prince Charming would never settle for you 
    E       C#m A 
If you want love 
B                   E 
Just pick a guy and love him 
C#m                         A 
And if he's got a thing for feet 
             B 
Say fuck it, sweep me off them
[Strophe]
E 
You want a girl that's nice 
              C#m 
A girl that's not 
C#m                                     A 
Obsessed with her looks but is insanely hot 
  
The kinda girl that you can show to your folks 
           B 
Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes 
E                                     C#m 
A real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl 
  
A brand new really hot real doll 
A 
Wants to impress you doesn't care if you notice 
     B 
And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with  
E              A                   E     B              C#m   A 
Then you might think that this girl only exists in your mind 
E 
She's real 
         B 
But last week  
 
She died
[Refrain]
E              C#m  A 
If you want love 
B                           E C#m 
Lower your expectations a lot 
                     A                 B 
You might think your dick is a gift I promise it's not 
E              C#m  A 
If you want love 
B                      E 
Just pick a girl and love her 
                   C#m 
Then whip out your dick and let the 
A             B 
Girl you love decline the offer  
A              E                         B 
I don't want a neat freak I don't want a slob 
B                                         A 
Or  somebody with bedhead and a dead-end job 
                 E           B 
Cause I won't settle for less 
B 
Than perfect 
A               E                   B 
We want perfect children, a perfect life 
B                             A 
Perfect husband or a perfect wife 
A   E            B 
But deep down we know 
         C#m 
We don't deserve it
[Outro]
[Mute] 
But  
    E  C#m      A 
We all deserve love 
B                     E              C#m 
Even on the days when we aren't our best 
                A 
Cause we all suck 
                             B 
But love can make us suck less 
E      C#m       A 
We all deserve love 
          B                 E      C#m 
It's the very best part of being alive 
    A 
And I would know 
    B             E 
I'm almost twenty five